- Having an EU passport is so freakin’ easy it almost feels like I’m doing something I’m not supposed to. If you’re a dual citizen you can pull a sneaky on border patrol and use whichever passport gets you into the shortest line for temporary or short-term travel. (Okay, it’s probably not very sneaky and BP almost definitely knows what’s up but I still get to feel like an alternate European personality, so that’s pretty cool.) If you have a visa or certain documents that are specific to a certain passport then I’m sorry, my dude, but you’re stuck waiting to talk to a real human.
- British people can smell fear. I had just hopped off my plane and headed straight to the train station so I could get to London to meet my friends. I waited in a long and winding queue to purchase a ticket from the machine. As some foreigners struggled to navigate the system, many hurried Brits were getting aggressively impatient, barely waiting for one person to move away from the machine before scooting in to take it over. When it came to be my turn, I confidently strode towards the ticket machine, pressed the station I wanted, then panicked and stared at the payment screen for way too long as I tried to remember what sort of return ticket I needed. Sweat gathered on my forehead as I heard the huffing English businessmen behind me. I took a leap of faith, pressed a random button, a ticket shot out at me, and I got the fuck out of the way.
- Cobblestones and rollie-suitcases are like oil and water.
- Sometimes if you’re nice, your British mates will offer to take a turn dragging your bag for you.
- AWAYS GET BRITISH STREET FOOD. No curry gets left behind, folks. I had curry takeaway for only the 2nd time in the UK even after living there for a year. The girls took me to Borough Market (10/10 recommend if you’re in London. It’s a 5-minute walk from London Bridge station and is a very authentic experience.) I had Indian takeaway consisting of Thali and some deep-fried onion ball that was absolutely delicious. Lots of salt though, so the only cure was to stop at another booth and grab some vegan/dairy-free/gluten free treats. Rocky-Road squares and Chocolate Avocado Cake. “Exotic”, foreign sugar is always a yes.
- Once you learn, you never forget how to roll a cigarette.
- The train stations don’t really have lockers or luggage storage for the day. You can pay to leave it at the airport until you return, but it can get expensive. The alternative I stumbled upon today was the cloakroom of the Tate Modern Gallery. I went to look at the exhibits and realized there was a place to stash my suitcase that was monitored and reliable. I left it there for a few hours while I took a wander. Honestly, I could have left it for most of the day there if I had wanted to walk around a bit more so long as I returned in time to retrieve it before closing time. The British Libraries also usually have a place to store bags… chuck your things in one of these places and just return for them later. AND IT’S FREE. Sneaky.
- The British are very willing to give directions, which is nice because sometimes the first two people you ask don’t give you the correct directions so you have to stop multiple times to make sure you’re going the right way.
- The buildings that house the pubs of London are some of the oldest buildings in the books that are used for the same purpose as they originally were. Sarah took me to the Anchor pub near the Millennium Bridge, the exposed beams that held up the building were original from the Medieval era. HOW ARE THEY STILL STANDING? The building is realistically held up by the shoulders of the old men who spend their days nursing pint after pint until last call.
- If you’re travelling from a London airport on a discount airline (EasyJet, WizzAir, etc) PRINT YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING BOARDING PASS. These discount airlines keep their flights so cheap because they operate with as few amenities as possible; smaller seating, no baggage allowances unless paid for (including carryons), no free snacks or beverages, last minute gate announcements/changes, and (this was NEWS TO ME) they only accept electronic boarding passes to check-in to your flight in order to save the cost of the paper and system access to print them. SO. As you can imagine, yours truly who has travelled the world never having had any issues requiring the check-in desk to print a boarding pass, I waltz up to the WizzAir desk to get my pass. They informed me that since I didn’t have the electronic copy, the boarding pass (a 3x7in piece of paper…) would cost £30 to print……….. BELOVED FANS…. THAT IS $51 CANADIAN. I learned my lesson, and I’m sharing it so that you don’t have to. So, you’re welcome.
There you have it. I’m in Iceland now. Talk soon.
Cheers, my dears.
Gyða